When People Push You

Most of us have limitations because we feel uncomfortable dealing with change. To get better at anything in this world, we have to push ourselves out of our comfort zone and our heads. That could take some doing, and it often takes other people to cause you to become your best self. That amount of knowledge can be difficult to swallow because you don’t always want to change. Change can be scary because it is unknown. Many people ideal with don’t like the concept of change and refuse to adapt to the times. They think life is just fine, and it may be for them. Unfortunately, the rest of the world does not find itself neutral. Jobs, families responsibilities, and achievements all require pushing ourselves to limits that we have never gone before.

While I am not a fan of Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk, I will say that those men pushed themselves to explore space more than humanity has until now. I’m sure they heard the word “no” quite a bit and did not accept “no” most of the time. Sometimes the word “no” is more common than we all realize. We may be going for a job that we want and not get it. And then we’re left to pick up the pieces because we struggle to push ourselves to keep going for more opportunities. We may become complacent because it’s easier to keep from being disappointed in life than to push ourselves to the limits.

Why do you think it’s essential for others to push us in our lives? Many people find that being driven by people in leadership positions helps them grow emotionally, spiritually, physically, and professionally. For me, it’s been an experience. Years ago, I wrote a paper in college. My family helped me edit it to make sure I had gotten everything tweaked, and it made me feel good about the report when I turned it in. The professor gave me a “b” on it. When I told my mom what happened, the first thing that came out of her mouth was that she didn’t do “b” work in editing. That statement infuriated the hell out of me because it implied that all I did was “b” work. She didn’t realize it at the time, but that statement set the tone for the rest of my collegiate career. That one quip that she gave me was enough to push me in everything I do. I cannot accept the status quo, and I refuse to do at this point.

When I was in junior high, I had a guidance counselor who told my parents all I would ever be would be a secretary. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a secretary, but I wanted more. Unfortunately, psychologically I was convinced that that’s all I would ever be because even though I went to school. I got my diploma, degrees, and certifications; instinctively, all I heard was what I would amount to be. It took years to change that perception. I’m now in a leadership role, and I’m very grateful for life’s opportunities. But I’ve worked extremely hard and earned what I’ve achieved. But I have to thank her because that guidance counselor gave me or gave me a viewpoint that, had I not been so needy of approval, I wouldn’t have known what direction I could go. I know her verbiage meant to her that she was pushing me to do more, but to me, her statement was about perception. Hers, to be exact, and that information rubbed off on me. I was too gullible and naive at the time to comprehend her words should not have the power to dictate my actions, but I proved her right for a long time.

Friends tend to push us in directions both positively and negatively. We don’t always see how their motives can either move us into a healthier mode or one that can have disastrous results. It’s easier to learn how to push ourselves than determine when people try us too far. So much of how we operate is in our minds. If we don’t allow ourselves to stop going for things, we will always keep pushing for more. But, there are levels in our lives where we’re happy with how far we go. Sometimes other people don’t know when to push or back off. The same is true for ourselves. We’re often guilty of driving ourselves so hard that we can’t see that we are overdoing it. Balance is critical in keeping a healthy life.

I found five tips online that might help you if you feel like others are pushing you into something that you don’t like. I hope they help you as they help me.

Set clear boundaries.

When someone has crossed the line with you, especially if done repeatedly, your best option is to set a limit on that person verbally. The point is to express, in a discreet manner, that you’re not going to allow yourself to let this individual disrespect your dignity or authority. If you set the boundaries, you can determine what you are willing to do and what you aren’t.

Find out what’s really behind your anger.

Most likely, your anger may run more profound than what you expect. Be honest with yourself and admit when others are hitting a nerve. If others push you to improve on weaknesses, stop criticizing yourself so hard. If people tell you truths that you don’t want to hear, give yourself the time to process what you learn. It’s easy to get mad at yourself and others. Don’t allow yourself to dwell on anger because that won’t serve a purpose other than to get your blood pressure in a tizzy.

Get some space.

Sometimes you need to walk away from others and even yourself to sort out your emotions. Take the time for yourself to process feedback and feelings. When people push us out of our comfort zones, we have a ton of emotions at bay. That’s normal. Walk away before you say or do something you might regret later.

Express your feelings.

When you’ve had time to process and think things through, you must tell the other person how you feel. And be sure to identify the specific event that made you think the way you did. As you express your feelings tactfully, end it with a statement of boundaries. For example: “The way you interrupted me repeatedly during the meeting made me feel disrespected and unappreciated. I want to request that it never happens again, respectfully.”

Reward yourself!

Rewarding yourself is very therapeutic. It reinforces the need to take a moment and remind yourself of your accomplishments.

No matter what happens in your life, keep pushing yourself to learn everything you can that interests you. The more you know, the more you can keep growing. Have a great day, everyone.

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