Next Friday, I will find out my progress with the doctor. I can tell a big difference so far. I’ve had quite a bit of flattening of my stomach and can feel my abdominal muscles for the first time in a long time. It’s wild, though. I don’t hurt like I did when I first started recovering. I still see the weight on me even though it’s disappearing. There are so many emotions when I look in the mirror. I see a reflection of who I am becoming and leaving the negative portion behind. I envision a woman of strength and confidence emerging from someone that used to be afraid to live life to the fullest. I created a facade for myself, and it took a series of events to make me see who I am and find ways to make myself happier. It’s a powerful feeling when your energy level returns, and you begin to know what you bring to the world. Hiding behind excuses only gets us more reasons and missed opportunities. It takes courage to say to yourself that you’ve had enough of the negativity.
I see the incision sites that run along my abdomen and instantly recognize that the scar I see I first think of as ugly is quite beautiful. It’s a reminder that taking care of our bodies should be a priority. When our mental health tests us, our physical well-being can take a beating. Those beatings, when done repeatedly, take a toll on our psyche. It’s like being in an abusive relationship without physical beatings. Mental beats take a toll more than people realize. We carry the emotional baggage with us to every trip, every encounter, and moment without realizing the damage we do to our souls. Sometimes it takes a powerful wake-up call to recognize where our problems stem from before we can change our situations for the better.
Each week I’m increasing my exercise regime. The most challenging part of this action is reminding myself that I’m still not supposed to lift more than 10 lbs. My cat weighs more than ten lbs. I broke that rule already, but I’ve been smart about it because I haven’t bent down to pick up. I usually wait until Sadie is on a chair or the bed where I don’t have to bend over and where she won’t hurt my incisions before I get her. There are some things that I can’t ignore, and she’s one of them.
Taking showers is challenging, not because of the pain, but because I have to soak the bandages until they peel off of me. Then once I’m dry, I have to reapply those bandages every three days. Sometimes it isn’t easy to get them completely wrapped the way they are supposed to go. When you aren’t used to twisting your body like a pretzel, it can be interesting when you try to do something that your body doesn’t do much. Then I have to wrap a Velcro belt around my waist. It’s a lot like a corset. It’s helping me get the shape I want, but it can also be challenging to get on correctly. The belt needs to be tight and snug. If it’s not, then the belt can’t do an adequate job of helping the person get the shape that they want.
Another issue is that I have to massage the lumps constantly. I swear if I thought I could use a rolling pin for a massager on my stomach without breaking anything, I would. It’s a constant juggle to get the skin and lumps massaged. There is pain and agitation because of the belt. Every once in a while, I can get a reprieve with the other form-fitting garment they gave me, but I can’t use that at work without a lot of trouble.
Every day I see progress, and I’m happy with the results so far. My friends are all telling me how much weight I appear to be losing, and I can tell the difference because my pants keep trying to fall. I have a friend who recommended that I get a pair of suspenders, and that sounds like a good plan until the weight settles down. In the meantime, I plan to keep getting healthy and start the New Year with a new mindset and outlook. I hope you all have an incredible New Year’s weekend and celebrate with a safe and happy outcome. Happy New Year, everyone! See you next year!