Hold the Door Open or Slam it Shut

Today’s blog is going to be a little different. Some people might take the context of holding the door open as a literal connotation. It’s okay if you forget to open the door for people when they’re going in somewhere. It’s appreciated when we do this, but society has forgotten what kind of gestures there are. But what I meant in my hold the door open or slamming shut title is that people tend to hold on to things for too long before they finally slam the door shut on circumstances that have hindered their progress in life. If you’re in a relationship that seems to be toxic, it makes sense to slam the door on that relationship. But what happens when you have other factors involved, like children?

Sometimes the answers are not simple. People have to do what they feel is best for them, and sometimes that means closing the door on one chapter and starting a new one. But when kids are involved, it’s different. Those kids are going to be affected. Too many relationships with children find themselves using them as pawns in a twisted sense of reality. The kids are the ones who always pay the highest price. But suppose children find themselves exposed to an abusive relationship. In that case, it’s a relationship that harms their psyche in the long run instead of finding ways to be strong enough to walk away. One of my friends is finding that out now.

She was in an immensely abusive relationship for over 20 years. She did have children, and those children were back-and-forth between parents. She did everything she could to raise those kids well. But when her significant other made no effort to be part of those kids’ lives, She had to make a conscientious decision as to what was best for her and those children. That wasn’t an easy call because he was the breadwinner. Today her children are all over the world working in various positions. But as a young child, her youngest child looked at her and said, “Mom, you need to become an advocate for those who can’t get out.” She took that advice to heart. She is now one of the highest executives for a nonprofit that deals with the abuse of women. She has faced dangerous situations and doesn’t let it stop her from helping other women in need.

It’s easy for all of us to criticize what other people do. When we see our friends making decisions we disagree with, we tend to think that there’s no hope for them, but we’re not in their shoes. When I see people making decisions that I question, I have to remind myself that they’re doing what they feel is right for them. Sometimes that’s a tough pill because you see that they need to slam the door on some people’s faces, yet they continue to hold that door wide open for them to be a doormat. So many people think it’s a kind gesture for somebody to keep an open door when you need to go into a place. And I don’t want to take away the fact that it is because that is a courtesy that is dying.

People facing addiction have had to face many open and shut doors in their lives. The truth is that it takes a lot of guts to stand on your own. Especially when everybody else is contriving to keep you knocked down. Those continuing their education to do things to make better lives for themselves find that holding that door open for other opportunities can be pretty challenging. I have acquaintances who recently completed their doctorate, and I’m proud of them. But when people start on their escapade about how I need to pursue a master’s degree or a doctorate, I want to give them a Gibbs head slap. Once a time where getting a master’s degree or a doctor guaranteed you better-paying positions. Today’s certifications are taking that place. It usually takes less time to get certified with skills than it does to go for doctorates.

There are some fields that this does not pertain. Careers like medical doctors and professors do not fall in the certification category. But there are many other areas where certifications are coming in handy, and they’re allowing people to hold open doors of opportunities that would otherwise be closed to them.

Various fields are opening up that the pandemic exposed. Computer technology is at an all-time high. IT positions are in huge demand, and working from home is in need as well. Many people dread going back to work in an office setting. And people like me are tired of working throughout a pandemic with no incentives insight. When I see places like Domino’s hiring at $15 an hour with a $5000 bonus, it angers me when positions like mine can’t even get a raise. Bills are going through the roof, and people need additional income. Such companies like mine are trying to employ actively but don’t want to pay well. Most people can’t afford to keep working for less than $15 an hour, and just about every company increases their prices. It’s situations like these that create people to slam the door on low-income jobs and opportunities.

I’ve chosen to hold the door open for more educational opportunities. I guess I’m probably a professional student because I like to learn so many different types of things. I enjoy technology, but I get tired of doing the same old same old all the time. I love to network because I enjoy meeting new people, but I don’t enjoy working with people who are constantly dragging each other down. There are enough people in this world who belittle and bully each other that I chinned to slam the door to those types of relationships. There’s a woman I was very close to for a long time. I’ve opted to slam the door on that relationship because of her life choices. She can never admit when she’s wrong, plus she’s so busy judging everyone who doesn’t believe the way she does that I have very little tolerance for her judgments and actions. The only way we grow as people is to surround ourselves with people pushing themselves for a better life. When we find ourselves surrounded by people who have no ambition but blame the rest of the world for their problems, it tends to rub off on our behavior.

So as you open the doors to new opportunities today and hold those doors open for positive experiences, I hope and believe that you will find ways to challenge yourself for the better with every fiber in me. And if you surround yourself with people who are causing you grief, depression, or anxiety, slam the door shut on them. You don’t need bad situations in your life. And if kids are involved in this, make sure you talk to somebody in professional settings, do some planning, and figure out the best ways to come out on the other side of the scenario as healthy as possible. Kids have enough grief to worry about nowadays; they don’t need to see their families at each other’s throats.

The truth is that there are many situations where it’s easy to tell someone to get out of what they’re living with, but it’s difficult for people to make the changes necessary to obtain a better life. Finances, living arrangements, self-esteem, and so many other variables play a crucial role in what people deal with in their lives. But if you believe that your situation can change for the better, you are one step closer to making it a reality. Sometimes you will need to research the options available to you. Other times, you might need to change the people you associate with and find stronger support networks. If children are involved, you might need to reach out to local nonprofits specializing in the areas you need assistance. No matter what life throws your way, you aren’t alone, even though you might feel that way. Doors can either be held open or slammed shut, and opportunities are as real as those doors. Don’t allow others the privilege of getting in your head and make you feel inferior. Changes are happening all around us. If you are aching for change, do the things that are important to you because you are the one who has to either walk through the door or slam it shut and don’t look back. Have a great day, everyone.

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