I remember hearing the song “God Bless the Broken Road.” and thinking it was a cool song. My heart hadn’t shattered when I first heard it. My faith was not shaken to the core, nor had my illusions of the rose-colored glasses shattered. My life wasn’t perfect, but I was existing.
I had yet to experience the losses that would revamp my life. I honestly was living in a self-made bubble. I think sometimes we think we know better than God. We feel that we control a situation that we have absolutely no concept of the ramifications of our actions in our thoughts, words, deeds, etc. All we seem to care about is what is in the moment: the instant gratification of our desires and endeavors.
As I’ve aged, I’ve learned about broken hearts. I’ve walked through more broken trails both physically and spiritually and felt the sting of betrayal from those I thought were closest to me. I never understood what I had done to deserve their wrath. I fell in love with a man who didn’t love me as much as I loved him. I married him. It turns out, love is supposed to be built on love and respect. Honesty should be front and center and if it isn’t the marriage or relationship is doomed to fail. My heart eventually fell for another man who keeps breaking me without even trying. Maybe that’s why I’ve chosen not to get back out there until I can trust my instincts better. So far my instincts appear to serve me with disaster zone emotions.
I’ve started watching Country Comfort on Netflix. It stars Katherine McPhee and Eddie Cibrian. Katherine plays a character named Bailey. She gets her heart broken by her boyfriend, who was also in a band with her, and she stumbles upon Eddie Cibrian’s character’s home in a storm (Beau). He is a widower with five children and a girlfriend named Summer, who is jealous of Bailey from the first night of their encounter. Through many different obstacles, Bailey helps the family by becoming a live-in nanny and a friend who has morphed into their family dynamic. The struggles the characters face are identifiable to me for several reasons.
We all walk broken roads at different times in our lives. Our hearts break and soar with various chapters. We all have those pit and pendulum moments in time that are the strongest piercings that we never thought possible. The hardest part is remembering that time may not always heal the wounds, but slaying the emotional demons and dragons isn’t always the most straightforward task. Sometimes love is too draining, and other times it fills our senses with the wonders of life.
When you get your heart broken, the last thing you want to do is to get back out there. It doesn’t matter if it’s dating, losing the job, friend, or family that you have had in your life up until that point. What does matter is hearts don’t heal by themselves. Yes, time is a huge factor, but going through the five stages of grief also helps. Learning to let go of the past and move forward is a significant asset, and understanding to allow ourselves to deal with the pain is crucial to healing.
My heart has broken a few times over the years and never completely healed. Yet, I know in my heart that there are things and people out there who have it worse than I do. I can’t allow myself to have a pity party for an extended period, or else the depression swoops in like an invisible cloak, shielding over me and encompassing total darkness. The darkness eventually has light. The sun comes out in the morning and sets in the evening. You have to allow yourself to see the good in this world. If you can imagine the blackness of the sky when there are no stars or moon visible, then you can have an idea of the pain of healing a broken heart takes.
Thankfully I have people in my life who have walked the journeys with me. They’ve helped me find my faith when it felt like it was sinking to the depths of the Titanic’s fall. Taking proactive steps to heal has also helped. What hasn’t helped is allowing myself to fall prey to people that try to suck the life out of my soul. That’s why I’ve walked away from people in my life who have to be right about everything. They can be so wrong that even when they’re wrong, they think they’re right. Human compassion is something they can’t deal with, and so they are quick to throw out judgments of others and refuse to acknowledge their contributions to problems.
Here are some tips that I’ve found to help if you are healing from a broken heart. I don’t know what struggles you are facing, but I know that hearts never fully recover. They still function and sometimes come out stronger than before, but the key is how we combat those broken hearts. Sometimes you need to deal with the pain before you can put the pieces back together.
- Don’t Let Your Emotions Rule.
- Take Care of Yourself.
- Don’t Get Stuck in the Past.
- Appreciate the Good Memories.
- Don’t Deny Your Needs.
- Reevaluate Your Needs.
- Don’t Jump Into a “Rebound” Relationship.
- Try Again When You’re Ready.
These tips are self-explanatory. The thing that I find most helpful is the fact that we are all conditioned to changes. The roads we take might break at different times in our lives, but we can construct ways to keep going. When you decide to allow yourself to heal, you’ll find the world looks different. Have a great weekend, everyone.