This post is for everyone who has ever criticized your flaws. If you look in the mirror and say, “I’m too fat, or I’m not that attractive, or I wish my body looked like….” you aren’t alone. Almost everyone on the planet has felt that way at various times in our lives. Would you please stop comparing your body to other people? You are beautiful inside and out. Your souls struggle at times, and our actions are ugly, but most people only have short periods of ugly behavior. Many people do not fall in the category of small amounts of time for ugly behavior, but that doesn’t make them ugly or unattractive. It just means their actions are not desirable.
Every time I go on social media, I see everyday people, including celebrities, who shame other people. Why? The fashion industry has been body-shaming its models for a long time. That’s not a secret. Fortunately, they are beginning to get a clue that there is a massive market for plus-size women and men. I’m not saying go out and gorge on food and gain a ton of weight. I am saying that being healthy is something that we all need to strive for, but we don’t need to make other people’s journeys deplorable.
When I was a kid, I always felt unattractive. I was a cute girl, but I didn’t see myself that way. I had friends who struggled with their looks as well. Some of them hated their hair or their bodies. They may have felt like they had no boobs or butt; some hated their legs, their eyes, mouths, ears, and so on. You get the gist. They would always comment about how someone else had the world wrapped around their finger while they couldn’t get an acknowledgment by anyone of the opposite sex.
I can’t give you advice on what will work for you to keep you from comparing yourself and body shaming yourself. I can’t advise what will work for you to keep you from comparing yourself and body shaming yourself. I can tell you that there are lots of resources available to help you with your journey. I’m not a counselor, and I research a lot of information available. The tips I give are from research and what’s helped me over the years.
I found some tips online that I thought were good advice. Hopefully, they will help you re-think how to stop comparing yourself to everyone else. There’s a reason that we are all unique. We all have distinct shapes, minds, hearts, and emotions. What you may feel could be a million degrees what others may think and feel. It’s okay to be different. That’s a good thing. Here are the tips I found.
Try these four ways to stop comparing your body to other women:
- Meet yourself. Think about all the harsh criticisms you give others and how these affect you. If you need an example of this, look no further than Chrissy Teigen. She was known for years how she shamed others and is now facing backlash for her past actions. Karma has a way of catching up to all of us at some point. While I don’t know her, she seems sincere in her ownership of her previous actions. Whether she learned from it or not, only time can tell. But the point is that when we are so quick to judge, whether it’s ourselves or others, we face issues down the road. It all stems from insecurities that we struggle with and how we see ourselves that matters.
- Pause all verbal comments. Before you speak, think about what you are going to say and how it will come across. If I had taken that advice years ago, I would be much better off than I am now. But, I’m not afraid to own the fact that I have a terrible habit of saying what I think. There are no perfect people in this world, and if you think you are perfect, well, all I can say about that is it must be nice to live higher than most folks. Sure, you can make more money than most people and even become more powerful than others, but the natural beauty is how you treat others, what you say matters, and the actions we do as a people is more powerful than any of us realize.
- Diversify where you find beauty and inspiration. I don’t look at people’s features as much anymore. I’ve learned over the years that someone can be beautiful on the outside and still have the soul of the devil. If I want to see beauty, I look at the gestures people have with each other, the beauty of nature, the sound of children laughing and playing, and how we all touch each other’s lives. I don’t have to look in the mirror to see my imperfections. I know they’re present. But I’m not willing to let them make me feel unattractive anymore because I’ve realized two things. The first is that I’ll never be a beauty queen, nor do I want to be, but I have a beautiful heart and will keep helping to lift others when life keeps knocking us all down. The second is that I don’t know what’s attractive to you and that’s not a bad thing. But what you consider beautiful I have no right to tear apart. Nor would I want to. What matters is that we find the things that are beautiful to us and grow from there.
- Seek outside help. I can’t stress this enough. If you are constantly struggling with insecurities about your looks or how you feel, please get help. There’s no shame in seeking assistance for problems we face. I never like hearing how people gave up on themselves because they couldn’t see their purpose. Believe it or not, you matter; your choices matter to those you love and who love you in return. Don’t body shame yourself into believing the hype of beauty because physical beauty is temporary, but the true beauty we have inside is timeless. Have a great day, everyone.