Life is full of cracks and crevices. We all eagerly anticipate opportunities and often remark how we could only find a gap through a door to push those doors to change openly. If you wonder what I mean by this, think about the times you were up for a promotion. You may have had competition for the job you wanted, and your bosses left just enough of a crack for you to show them why you were the best candidate for the position. If you were able to channel your energy into proving why you were the strongest candidate, you might have been able to demonstrate your skillset and come out with the position. If you didn’t get the job, you might have found that it was because your skills weren’t the right fit at that time. Those cracks in the door opened up challenges that you wouldn’t be exposed had there not been a tiny crack for you to see beyond your current circumstances.
One of the best approaches that I’ve found in finding exposed cracks is to see gaps in conversations. Listen, if you hear your bosses talking about voids that need filling, chances are there are cracks they are referring to that you could help solve the problems. Let’s say that you have several employees that quit, and you need to figure out how to balance the workload. Do you hire additional staff? Bring in, volunteers? Work with college students to provide intern credit hours for courses? What projects can wait to work smarter and not harder? What kind of budget are you dealing with, and how long will it take to get the various tasks completed? Once you start attacking these types of questions, you find some cracks are exposed. Some of those doors can fling wide open, while others need to have the doors shut. The key is knowing when to pursue those cracks and when to close the door.
I missed the crack through the door with relationships. There is a lot of things that I did to go through life blindly. I wanted to be with someone for all the wrong reasons. We married, and it was a disaster. Never jump from one relationship into another. It isn’t healthy and can have damning consequences. Zane and I were not a good fit. Our marriage existed off lies and deception. Leaving him was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I took my vows seriously and cried because of the destruction of that union. While I know that he is with a new family, I will always care about him. That doesn’t mean I want him back. I hope he’s found the happiness that he couldn’t see with me.
When my marriage ended, I thought that I could have a better relationship with someone else. I let fear hold me back from telling this man in the question how I felt. I was afraid that he would reject me, so there were many times I made decisions that would affect both of our lives. I had no right to decide anything for him. I should have communicated directly to him and not gone around my head to get to my butt. I didn’t see the crack in the door that was staring me in the face. All I saw was a sealed section. I didn’t understand all the hell he was dealing with because I let assumptions seal our fate. I was wrong. As a result, we both paid the price for lack of courage on both our parts. He should have said something when things happened instead of ignoring the issues for as long as he did. I should have spoken up. Had either of us not been living in fear, our lives would be different.
I use those two examples because life has no guarantees. You may work hard and never move up, or you might be able to get where you want to go. Assuming issues in our lives is never a good thing. Rarely do we presume correctly. Most problems have underlying layers much more complex than what we want to acknowledge. It’s up to us to change the cycles for the better. No one wants to read minds, but we force ourselves to do this with our bosses, clients, relationships, and other areas in our lives. It’s a testament to being able to solve problems before they start.
As you go through the day, I hope you can find the cracks in the doors that open opportunities to change for the better. Each of us deserves happiness in our lives. It’s important to remember we are all part of a community that has the power to incite change or to remain stagnating. Choose happiness. If you aren’t satisfied with how your life is going, please find the cracks in the doors or windows of life that will allow you to open yourself up to new people and opportunities. Life is challenging enough to exist day to day with little to no fun. There are many doors that none of us have ever had the privilege of opening. As the doors push open, life presents us with unknown worlds. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I feel those doors will give all of us challenges that we never knew we wanted. I hope you all have a great Tuesday.