The Real You

Who are you? Why do so many people have labels to define them? What are the things you value most? What do you want to be remembered for in life? What are the secrets that lurk in your life that you hope no one uncovers? If you are like many people on this earth, chances are you don’t know the real you because you are constantly evolving. When I hear the expression “Who are you?” the truth is that I have no clue how to answer that. My identity is one that I question daily. My goals and dreams change; the most important issues to me change as I change, grow, evolve, and experience.


Some days I feel like a child of God. My faith is strong, and I’m ready to take on the world. Other days I feel weak and humbled. I don’t always feel worthy of love and acceptance. My self-esteem fights to stay ahead of the curve. Scientists and specialists have a name for just about everything. If we have labels for what we don’t understand, it’s easier to identify those intricate details. Identifying what goes on internally isn’t always a simple task.


Lately, I have to remind myself that I am constantly changing who I am. When I was in high school, I drifted along in classes. I was intimidated by the other kids and never fit in. When I got to college, I began to find my voice and do things that I had never dreamed of before. When the opportunity to join the sororities arose, I refused to succumb to the pressure of going Greek. That decision would haunt me for the rest of my days. I missed out on opportunities because I decided that I wasn’t good enough for a better life. I didn’t allow others to reject me, so I settled for them. The only person I hurt with that mentality was myself. I cheated myself out of being the best possible person I could be. It took me years to understand what happened and why I chose the roads I did. I don’t regret my decisions over the years, but I have learned from them. Fear keeps us from branching out and learning. When we decide not to allow that fear to overtake our mindset, we begin to see mountains and obstacles move.


We find versions of ourselves that we didn’t know existed. Confidence becomes instilled into the very essence of our souls, and power exudes from that confidence. Regaining personal control is something we should be proud of because we find the strength to change ourselves and situations when we are our weakest. Sometimes it takes losing everything to discover who you are. In previous relationships, I allowed myself to become submissive and not in a sexual manner. I succumbed to what I thought the other person wanted. When we find strength within ourselves, we discover a reflection of someone that never stays the same. Each day we age, we grow in skills and talents, love, friendship, and opportunity.


Be realistic with what you are dealing with because fantasy is always more elaborate than the real world. It’s great to continue to push ourselves to learn everything that life offers but trying to become someone else isn’t like turning a light switch on and off. You aren’t going to be a janitor one day and a CEO the next. The real world doesn’t work that way. (If you are lucky enough to have that happen, you are rare.) Labels exist because we allow our thoughts to take on different meanings. If getting to the top means that you have to change who you are, then figure out who that person is and what you are willing to sacrifice. You don’t have to sell your soul to be someone in life that people respect and look up to, but you do have to know your strengths and weaknesses. When you are realistic and honest with yourself about where you are in life and what you want out of life, you will be amazed at the transformation in yourself that begins to take place.


Don’t label yourself. Society does this for us. You are never going to be the same person you were a day before. Something always changes. Sometimes those differences are noticeable, while other times, they are not.


Be open to changes and ready to combat fear. The mistakes I made have left a mark on my soul. I don’t wish to repeat the mistakes of the past. Learn from my errors. Life isn’t a guarantee. If we all want to evolve, we have to step out of our comfort zone and go on our journeys. Sometimes those journeys may lead to faith, while others may lead to different venues. Never walk into a situation closed-minded. Keep your eyes and ears open for things you might have missed.


Above all, I hope that as you are constantly evolving, be happy. The grass is not always greener on the other side, and you may be assuming a lot about others. Don’t sell yourself short. Give the world a chance to get to know the real you. Have a great day, everyone.

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