Being jaded is something that comes when your heart has become broken so much that you are tired of being used, abused, and discarded like a piece of trash. It does not matter if it is a professional relationship, personal or a casual one. What matters is once the damage has happened to a person, it is difficult not to fall into a jade pattern. When that happens, people become numb. Their give a damn is gone. They do not want to hear the sob stories or see people being blissfully happy, or worse, having another rub their success in that person’s face. Valentine’s Day was two days ago. It was a unique Valentine’s Day that we’ve all experienced in the respect that we had to wear masks around each other to keep one another safe.
I think it’s easy to feel this way. Trust is something sacred. When you put your heart on the line, it’s difficult to understand why others want to crush how you feel about them or anything important to you. You might feel exasperated as you continue to give yourself only to find that the gifts you bequeath others have become a game to other people. You may question what you did to deserve the cavalier acts that others bestow upon you. No matter what damage other people try to inflict, remember that you stop feeling if you become numb. Those feelings are what helps us feel alive.
I try to think about what another person is dealing with before allowing the jadedness to overtake my heart. I imagine what it must be like to travel in their shoes. Why are they doing these actions to others? What do they hope to gain? I remember a woman I worked with a long time ago. She was the type of person that jealousy affected everything she did. She loathed me and others. She did everything she could to make our lives a living hell. She was jaded. She had everything – a loving husband, two beautiful children, and yet venom ran through her heart. She was living like a scorpion awaiting its prey. She couldn’t wait to strike out at those she deemed to be in her way. She made me understand why conspiracy theories are prevalent. I hated going to work when she was there. She made me hate my life and my job, and those two elements make for a nasty combination. All of these things made me recognize something. I, too, was becoming like her. The most challenging aspect realized what was happening. This realization made me want to ensure I could stop the unhealthy pattern from overtaking my life. Here are ten ways that I found that helped me and are continuing to work in my life.
1. Jam and create an upbeat playlist. Music has the power to say what we are feeling without us having to say a word. You do not have to be a DJ to know what sounds good. Find the songs that make you happy and use them for a playlist.
2. Go out of your way to help somebody you do not know. Life is short. When we help others that we do not see, we are inciting change positively.
3. Pay for another person. Their meal or drink may be maxing them out. You may not understand this, but you have no clue what they are dealing with when you do something simple for another person. Sometimes picking up their tab could be a welcome change to a crappy day.
4. When someone treats you poorly, imagine that they are having the worst experience of their life. Let yourself feel compassion, even if you want to be pissed.
5. Take mini social media holidays. Disconnect. Let yourself experience total, complete silence. This act is one of my favorites because social media is getting out of hand. There are too many people bashing one another because they disagree with what other people may feel. Who the hell cares what other people may think? Why are so many people getting bent out of shape over issues that they believe are right when others feel they are wrong? We all have opinions, but that does not give us the right to condemn others for how they think and why.
6. And when on social media, make posts about others rather than yourself. Tweet someone, “Good morning.” Make a Facebook post about something cool someone did. Make your postpositive and be a strong reinforcement for good.
7. Validate your own emotions, positive and negative. Your feelings are real. Use your knowledge of how you feel to help you navigate through challenging times.
8. And validate other people’s emotions, too, even when it is easier to resent them. We all need to hear good things in our lives. Spread some of that positive energy into conversations with others.
9. Keep a journal. Try to write in it regularly if you can. When you can log down the things in your life that is happening, it becomes easier to look back and have a clearer picture of where you have been and where you need to go.
10. Make time for your spiritual practices, meditation, or yoga. Find an outlet to help you deal with stress. Prayer, meditation, and yoga are excellent resources to help a person deal with conflicting emotions.
No matter what, remember that becoming numb and jaded does little to help you in the long run. Determine the best course of action for yourself to lead a healthy and productive life. You never know. You might learn a few things along the way. Have a great day, everyone.