When the Drama Builds

Life can become filled with drama. One of the most challenging things any of us can do is walk away from unnecessary drama. When people we love are consistently pouring out their heartfelt angst, we try to listen and then determine whether we can help or if we need to butt out. I’ve been doing more of the latter recently, and it’s been nice not to have as many migraines from all the drama induced stories.  

Most of my friends are adults. Sometimes it feels like the situations they find themselves in are grown-up versions of high school drama. That’s why I could write a book on their escapades. I’ve lived hard and played hard. In college, I used to hustle pool games. There was nothing better than acting like I didn’t know how to play and then teaching the boys their incorrect assumptions. I figured out quickly that if I was going to be a player, not to be surprised when I got played. After all, if you dish out drama, you’d better be able to take it when it’s reciprocated. This scenario wasn’t always my strong suit. I choose now not to play deceitful games. It’s a waste of time, and people get hurt.  

I have a couple of friends that change relationships as quickly as they change underwear. That’s a disturbing thought when you think about it because stability in relationships helps keep everyone healthier and happier in today’s world. I have to chuckle when they complain about the whiplash they deal with trying to figure out their partners.  

Drama and hearts intertwine when relationships hit home. It’s easy to get sucked into someone’s drama like a vacuum. It’s harder to stay at arm’s length because you want to be supportive and understanding. Remember, you are not alone. There are a lot of people who go through the same thing. They don’t want to let those they care for down. I thought this would be an excellent time to list some helpful reminders that I found online. If you are trying to stay out of the drama, try these things.  

  1. 1) Accept that you can’t change their behavior. The only person you can change is you. If you are trying to get someone to do your will, you may be asking for more than that person can handle. People will do what they want to or at least what they believe is best for them. You can’t live that person’s life for them. All you can do is listen, be the sounding board, give advice only when asked, and live your life.  
  2. 2) Anticipate difficult situations. I’m not asking you to have a crystal ball. You can judge people’s behaviors and anticipate their next move pretty quickly. If you have made the same types of mistakes they have and see the pattern they are walking down, you will know the trainwreck that is arriving. You can’t judge because that does no good. But you can make sure that you avoid the incidents that you see forming.  
  3. 3) Stay calm. When most of us get worked up, we make icky decisions. The more relaxed we remain, the better we think. Focus on the positives, and don’t allow the negative energy that attacks to take you down.   
  4. 4) Physically remove yourself from the drama. This scenario may be more complicated, but it’s necessary to move forward. If you stay away from the dramatic scenes, you won’t get stressed and lose clarity.    
  5. 5) Don’t make it about you. Not everything is about you. Learn to listen and not assume. Assuming gets all of us in trouble.  
  6. 6) Stay in your lane. Be willing to stand back and let things happen. If you try to fix everything, you will do more harm than good, even if you have the best intentions. I learned this the hard way.  
  7. 7) Maintain clear boundaries. You know what you can handle. If someone’s issues are too much for you to deal with, it’s okay to say that you aren’t the person they need.  
  8. 8) Get support. Support doesn’t always mean getting a paid professional. It can be a support group or meeting with friends. No matter what or who you may choose to confide in, don’t carry the weight of others’ problems on your shoulders.  

Most importantly, learn that you are a person of worth. You don’t need to accept tons of drama to feel accepted. Be comfortable with who you are. You can be a friend by letting others fail. Sometimes it’s the most complex and rewarding thing that we can do for others. We all tend to be stubborn. Stubbornness can be a blessing as well as a curse. Take care of yourself by limiting the drama around you. It might surprise you how much better you feel when you surround yourself with positive energy. Have a great weekend, everyone. 

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