I’ve heard this phrase a lot in my life and never fully comprehended what it entailed. As I’ve navigated my roads in life, I’ve often come to dead ends and had to turn around and find other ways of getting to where I wanted to end up. I think many of us have had to stumble upon unexpected occurrences in life and have learned valuable lessons along the way.
One of the things I’ve learned is that I’m not Superwoman. I do a lot. But I don’t do well when I spread myself so thin that I lose sight of what’s important to me. When I tackle a project, I immerse myself into doing a good job. When I listen to others, sometimes I speak up when I shouldn’t and have learned that I need to zip it and listen more.
It’s okay to learn we all have limitations. It’s also okay to learn to say “No”. Each of us has a responsibility to take care of ourselves. When we start to feel like something we used to enjoy is no longer fun, we might need to step away from that task. When we feel a relationship has become toxic, we need to ask ourselves about the best thing for us to do. No one is going to take care of everything for you. You know what your needs are better than anyone else.
Here are a few tips that might help you recognize repetitive patterns.
- Staying in the same place too long. When I researched this topic, this was one of the tips that caught my eye. I don’t always know when I’ve been somewhere too long, and I’ve had to identify this issue better. The bottom line is we can be at a place or position too long. Knowing when to walk away can create a calmer disposition for you in the long run.
- Letting your job wear you down. I don’t mean to bring work home with me, but it’s hard to let it go when I’ve had a rough day. There has to be a balance in our lives. We all practically live at work because we are there longer than we are in our homes. Work helps keep the bills paid, but it doesn’t create a healthy balance when all you do is work. Learn to have some balance. It’s important to be well rounded.
- Negativity. Good grief. This should need no explanation. Negativity is everywhere. We all deal with negative energy. All you have to do is look around you, and you’ll find negativity. Don’t let it impact you. It’s easier said than done sometimes, but I think you’ll find that if you begin to look at the world with a little more zen, you might find that the negative energy rolls off your backs are a little better.
- People Pleasing. There’s a lot of people who feel the need to please people. I have found myself to be guilty of this. I typically like diffusing situations before they get completely out of hand. I believe in treating others with respect and compassion and don’t like to treat people like they are unworthy of respect.
- Gaslighting. When a person manages to have self-respect, they recognize that their memories and contributions are just as important as those around them. If someone tries to convince you otherwise, don’t be afraid to call them out.
- Laziness and Procrastination. Many people have this problem. COVID hasn’t helped. Getting ourselves into a pattern of consistency is challenging but not unheard. Plan and execute those plans regularly. Challenge yourself to meet your goals and dreams by a certain point. When you organize your thoughts and your skills, it’s amazing what you can accomplish.
- Unhealthy or controlling relationships. If you are involved with someone who tries to control you or makes you feel inferior, you may need to take a step back. Getting help can be difficult, but you do not deserve to be abused. Nor do you deserve to be treated with anything but respect. Learn to love and appreciate yourself enough to recognize the beauty you offer to the world.
- Unhealthy Lifestyle. If all you eat is junk food and don’t exercise, you will never feel good about yourself. Our bodies are machines. They will perform well if we treat them well. You can un-learn unhealthy habits. Those habits can manifest into health hazards as you age. Taking control of those issues now will behoove you in the long run.
- Grow Your Self-Respect and Confidence. When we are confident about our choices and choose respect for ourselves, we can conquer many fears. Our opinions are weighed by how we view those we connect with. If those we connect with are unsure about things, we don’t have the confidence in them that they may need. If we exude confidence, we are influencing others that we are qualified leaders.
- Don’t allow yourself to feel guilty about taking your life back. Listen. I know that it’s hard to walk away from people and things that have been a priority. But if you find that you need to channel the energy you have into being a better version of yourself, you may need to hold your ground and not let everyone else make you feel guilty about taking care of yourself. You matter.
I hope today’s blog helps you understand that we all have difficult choices in life. Some of them deal with families, while others deal with relationships, both professional and personal. I wish you could all experience life without drama for one day. When we take the outer drama out of the equation, we set up a recipe for a healthier frame of mind.
Be good to yourselves. Each day is a gift. Have a great day, everyone.