Let’s face it. All of us have short fuses right now. The littlest things are grating on every single nerve we have. One of the places that I handle social media for, I don’t charge. I’ve started doing things for them that if they were to pay me, they wouldn’t be able to afford me. The last two times, I’ve made small typo mistakes and had the secretary of the church email me with the same woman’s complaints. I finally responded back to her and politely explained how much time it takes to do these tasks. What rubbed me wrong was the fact that she has literally sent off hot emails each time claiming them to be urgent when this was not as urgent as she indicated. I get it. I don’t like it when my name is spelled wrong either. But I try to not go nuclear about the issue. There are too many other things in this world to get riled up over.
This virus makes me shake my head in wonder. College students are back on campus only to have a high number of students getting the virus. The students blame the school, the schools blame the students. Both parties are at fault. Patience is something that has worn thin with all of us. We’re all being careful and yet we all want our lives back. Normalcy is not something that will return to us any time soon. One of my closest friends had a birthday celebration yesterday. I was glad that he had the support of his friends and family that wanted to celebrate with him.
My birthday this year was horrible. I should be grateful for turning half a century but instead, I felt despondent. I couldn’t celebrate it because of the virus. All the restaurants and bars had closed off for dine-in eating at the time and all I could do was dwell on what I didn’t have. This virus made it difficult for every one of us. It has made all of us force ourselves to deal with our insecurities, bond with family more, and learn to not take true friendships for granted. It took a good friend to remind me that when I complained about things that couldn’t be controlled, that it made me look like a whiner. She told me that a lot of other people had worse things that had happened and that I needed to get out of the pity party. She was right. Every time I think about what I want to complain about, I’m learning to think before I complain. It’s easy to spout off about what bothers us. It’s good to get it off our chests but we need to remember that there is someone else in the world going through something rougher than our situation.
Here are a few tips that I found that are helping me change my dynamic and begin to shape a better me.
1.) MAKE SURE YOU HAVE AN EDUCATED, WELL-INFORMED COMPLAINT – If you are the type to complain about things based on emotion, those complaints will only go so far. If you can base a complaint on fact and present an educated, and well-informed complaint, chances are that you will be able to get a resolution.
2.) NEVER BE SO DEMANDING THAT YOU ARE LOATHED. This is important. You can be right but you don’t have to be a jerk about it. Sometimes being able to prove your point without coming across as a jerk, can take you further in your career and in your personal life. You don’t have to give in to those who share obnoxious behavior.
3.) MAKE SURE YOUR COMPLAINT IS TIMELY & YOUR MOTIVE IS HONEST. If you are the type of person who doesn’t deal with toxic behavior and lets it multiply then you need to learn that timing is everything. Arguing is a part of growth and it can be difficult to do but it’s a necessary force in order to open up areas that need to be explored. But you don’t have to throw things back in a person’s face all the time. Choose your battles.
4.) ASK YOURSELF IF YOU’RE COMPLAINING JUST TO FEEL IMPORTANT. If this is what you are doing, then maybe you should ask yourself what you hope to achieve by this action. Life isn’t high school. Most businesses frown on those who complain to make them sound important. What’s important is that you are able to recognize that you are a person of worth and don’t have to sell yourself by selling your soul. Show why you should represent instead of representing a show.
5.) ARE YOU PROJECTING YOUR EMOTIONS? If you bottle up your emotions, you might be. When we don’t deal with how we feel, our feelings deal in ways that we never knew they would boil.
The biggest thing is to recognize that constant complaining could be a turn-off to many different people and opportunities. Have a difficult conversation with yourself and determine if your complaining is constant. If it is, you may want to dial it down a notch. Behavior that can be questionable can backfire in the long run. Don’t give future opportunities to assume they know you. Be the growth that you want to represent. Complain when it’s legit and when you are armed with the tools you need to win the argument. Until then, change your battle plan.
Don’t let anyone rattle your cage. Our lives are filled with new adventures and opportunities. When you get up, think about what the world is going to present you with for the day and go from there. Enjoy the adventure. Leave the complaints behind.