We all have those moments in our lives that we often wish we could freeze time over. When we’re little, we always wish to be bigger or be able to do things that the older kids do. We can’t wait for that moment to arrive and then when it does, we wish for the next level and are never completely satisfied. We start to form jealousies and opinions of what others possess and then strive to acquire it for ourselves. We elude to dreams and visions in the hopes of creating a better life for ourselves and then enhancing those opportunities as they arrive. Every milestone that we check off in our lives, are priceless moments that money will never be able to buy.
I’ll never forget being a kid and how I couldn’t wait to turn ten. There was a melancholy moment where I realized I’d never be single digits again but man, I was so happy to be growing up. Then came time for me to get my drivers license. Now, I don’t know about the rest of you but my folks were about to throttle me because I wouldn’t pay attention to them when they tried to work with me. I went for the drivers test and the only thing I had a hard time with was turning on the windshield wipers because it never rained when I was learning. After going for my test, I passed. I walked into the Drivers License office and the first thing my mom said was “Well?”. I replied. “I passed.” All I heard out of her mouth was “You little shit.” To this day that has become my nickname with her. It’s kind of a standing joke. But it’s one that makes me smile. We joke about the fact that if I ever end up in a nursing home and they ask me what my name is I’ll probably reply “little shit.”
I’m known around those who know me best for being very cynical and sarcastic. It’s one of my most endearing and worst traits and sometimes people don’t know how to take me. I’ve often heard that I was funny and sometimes I can be. I’m kind of a mutt when it comes to family wit and humor. Both sides have had those who could come up with great retorts and those who remained pretty quiet most of the time. But every one of the folks in my family that I had the privilege of meeting, has left marks upon me that are precious.
My grandmother on my mom’s side used to tell me to speak clearly and distinctly. She had a problem with people who would mutter under their breath. She wanted me to be intentional with what I said. Of course, I don’t think she would have taken too kindly to some of the things that I’ve said to people over the years but I get a strong sense of conviction from both sides of my family. I distinctly remember going into her kitchen and the aroma of fresh baked buttery biscuits would fill my nostrils. Her cornbread was legendary and the taste of those green peas is forever etched into my aromatic memories. Those are some of the most precious moments in my life. The memories of family gathered at the table, the laughs and tears we all shared, the common denominator of love is something I will forever treasure.
For many the birth of a child is something that they carry with them as one of life’s precious moments. For those who are never able to have a child, it can be one of the most devastating moments in their lives. We all have those moments in time that shape us. Those moments can create something extremely beautiful or twisted. The question is truly up to us on how we move forward. Right now there are people in my life who are fighting a very difficult battle. They are trying to process how to move forward from relationships that are falling apart. They are forgetting the things that were so precious and they were willing to fight for once and are now letting slip through their fingers. They don’t realize the precious moments they are losing because they are so focused on false ideals. They just give up because it can sound easier to walk away than it truly is. Whether your dream is to have a family, hold onto a family, or walk alone, there’s always those moments in time that you want to preserve and can’t. The closest we get is a photograph or drawing.
I don’t know what moments are priceless to you. But I do know that we all need things in our lives that keep us motivated and focused. We can’t allow the dreams that we have to be destroyed. Otherwise, we can’t truly appreciate the people and opportunities that we’ve had. I threw a lot away without even realizing it. As far as my marriage, I didn’t throw that away. I walked after a lot of thought. When someone is not respecting you and never will, you can’t change them. I don’t regret my marriage. Nor do I regret loving him. What I do regret is that he felt he could treat me however he pleased and that I wouldn’t fight back. Life doesn’t work that way. When we’re standing on the edge of opportunity, then we learn that we are all a part of a greater picture than we can imagine.
One of my favorite moments is spending time with my dad. He got me better than anyone. It was like he and I thought so much alike that he knew what I’d do before I did it. I miss that connection. I miss feeling like the world accepts us for who we are. There’s many who don’t. What matters is that we accept ourselves and that we recognize that we are all a part of each others moments. We affect each other in ways that we don’t always understand. There are people in my life who have made me feel alive and others who made me wish that I never existed. My challenge to all of you is to find those who propel you to create those moments in time that you wish you could clone. Don’t compromise yourself. Shine with the brightness that surrounds your soul and no matter what, remember that the moments that mean the most to you won’t mean much to others but you can draw strength from the memories. Let those moments help to define you and help you achieve the future you desire.