Re-configuring Direction

Do any of you ever feel perplexed as to what direction you should embark on in your life? Sometimes I do. I have a vast amount of interests. I stretch myself to the max and yet it’s never quite enough to reach the ultimate fulfillment. I’ve done a lot of studying the last few years in social media marketing and web development but something is still missing. I’ve re-evaluated friendships and career goals and yet in many ways, I feel I’m at a crossroads. It’s hard when you know you’re supposed to know exactly what you want to be when you grow up and you’re still figuring it all out.

I know I’m not alone. One of the things that I’ve learned well is that when everything is appearing to go wonderfully for folks, they post about how happy and content they are. When people that I had loved in the past were posting about their new family and that they had never been happier, it was a slap to me. I honestly felt like I couldn’t make them happy and had failed on every level. It’s hard at times to understand that we can’t make others happy when we are struggling with happiness ourselves.

When you’re in a relationship with someone, is your relationship healthy? Are you both communicating about what’s important to you? Are you taking each other for granted? Do your expectations match what your partner deems important to them? Those are some of the questions that went through my mind when I realized that I was emotionally damaged from the trust that I had imparted from my ex. Exes are exes for a reason. When relationships are built on lies, there is never a solid foundation that can be built upon. I think that’s one of the reasons that I’ve learned to be more guarded. Fear is a trait that follows people when they are struggling within themselves. The most difficult part of the journey is to find the strength to soldier on even when you don’t know how you are going to stand, much less be able to walk or run to something or someone new.

We all have questions at various times in our lives. All of us try to make sense of where we are in our lives or what our priorities are. For me, it’s pretty simple. I choose to find the things in life that make me happy. The outdoors, people, animals, and using imagination are some of the greatest attributes that surround me.

I’ve been testing things out for myself lately. One of the men at my church who is a mentor to me has given me the gift of trying to learn a new program. My mind has been stuck in neutral. I try to learn and it feels as if I have a roadblock. The worst part is feeling like I’m letting him and others down. There’s a difference between asking for help and not even knowing what you need help with, especially when everything faces you like a blank screen. It’s making me delve harder into something that five years ago I would have walked away from. I think as we all get older, we learn to prioritize more.

There’s also people that I’ve walked away from that it’s been really tough to do this with. In my heart, I know that we’ve grown apart and want different things out of life. It’s hard not to pick up the phone and share the good and bad times with certain individuals who were an integral part of my life for a long time. It’s a necessary thing in order to keep growing but that doesn’t mean it’s a simple task.

As I’ve been doing research online to help with the transitions that I’m dealing with, here’s some of the helpful hints I’ve found.

  1. Draw the Line Between Thinking and Over-Thinking. … I’ve always heard to stop making things harder than they are. I’m extremely analytical. I dissect information to death so this is more difficult for me. Yet, as I begin to process things, I’m finding that I can refocus my energy and direction into things that are positive and fun.
  2. Take Action. …Change what’s making you miserable. If you are stuck in a rut, what changes can be made in your life to get you on a better path? It might be finding a hobby or an outlet of sorts that helps you stay motivated.
  3. Trust in Your Instincts. …You gut is a great navigator for different areas in life. In a way, it’s our compass to help get us back on track.
  4. Notice What Makes You Happy. …In my case, I’m redirecting my energy. There’s a couple of places in my life where people have been draining me. Now it’s up to me to stop the drain. Only I can do that. Just like you are the only one that can determine what makes you happy and content. Don’t allow fake happiness to take over your life. It will manifest itself in various forms in the long run and it can often rear its ugly head in ways that you never expected. It can affect you physically and mentally.
  5. Discover Your Strengths. … Our strengths and weakness can be sharpened and dulled every day. The main thing is we find the things that we’re good at and go from there.
  6. Focus on Your Values. …What are the issues most important to you? It matters because those are the areas that if you insert yourself, you can make the most difference because you do things that you invest your heart and time into. That makes all the difference in the world.
  7. Surround Yourself With Supportive People. If you surround yourself with talkers and takers, that’s all your going to receive. Surround yourself with those who don’t make you feel that you don’t have anything of value to add. Don’t let someone else’s opinions of what or who you should be in life, determine your future.

It’s been because of the blogging, that I’m finding that I’m gaining support from all of you. There are days that are almost numbing to get through because at times, I feel beaten from everything in my life. It can take a toll if I let it. COVID really affected me. I was doing everything I could to lose weight before COVID hit and was so excited about getting back to the gym, working out with friends, and reconnecting. Like many of you, I’ve had to readjust how I’m doing everything and it’s a giant learning curve.

While I don’t know exactly which road I’ll wind up on, it’s refreshing to know that as long as I keep getting up when I get knocked down, that each day is a new opportunity. I don’t have to write the great American novel. I just have to be the best version of myself that I can be. We aren’t defined by the career we embark upon. We are defined by what we give to the world. While I don’t know where I’m going, I do know that giving up isn’t an option. I may feel frustrated by things I don’t understand but it is fuel to learn more. It’s through those kinds of interruptions in my life, that I’m learning when to quit and when to keep pushing. Being happy is a choice. While life may be complicated, our attitude determines our level of happiness. Intellectually I comprehend this fact, internally, I’m processing it. If you find yourself at a crossroad, remember this. We are our own worst critics. We are also able to generate that same level of criticism into motivation. If you aren’t sure what you really want out of life, start by figuring out what you don’t want. You can work around that information. At least it will give you a starting point and that’s extremely helpful. I’ve found when I get the negative junk out of the way, it leads way to more positive energy. If you’re one of the folks who has got things in your life figured out, consider yourself blessed. Not everyone can figure out what their role is but what each of us can do, is to find ways to make ourselves happy. Money isn’t the answer to everything. Sure, it makes life more comfortable but it won’t buy pure joy. Kindness, love, acceptance and time are things that we can offer each other that will keep us smiling even in the darkest of times in our lives. I truly hope each of you can find the things that make you happy and thrive in whatever directions you go.

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