Tears become Rain

I love the rain. There’s something calming, refreshing, and spiritual about it. Rain has the tendency to make us feel like thirts are being quenched. When the rain hits my face, it makes me feel alive. Granted, it’s a wet feeling but I really don’t care. The rain drops trickle down my face as if it was kissed with the promise of a new life, new opportunity, and the ability to feel complete peace. On a hot summer day, the rain is a welcome relief to hot temperatures, with the humidity being off the chain. Instead, the rain can make a person fill with hope. It’s almost as if the plants are growing before our eyes and the rain just reminds us that without water, we don’t live.

You know how the rain comes down when the weather conditions are just right and leaves a rainbow in it’s place? As a kid, I always heard about the pot of gold at the end of that rainbow but as an adult, it’s taught me that just because the rainbows may not have a physical pot of gold at the end, that they do provide a sense of awe because rainbows bring joy to so many people. And what is joy? Joy is something that can’t be measured in dollars and cents. It’s the feeling that lets you know that things are good. But there are other times that the rain is a cruel reminder of the heartbreak we feel. It reminds us that our tears will often flow an inexplainable times. We may be grieving the loss of a loved one and the rain hits us with a strong force. It can be a biting reminder that life is given and taken every day. The cruelty that it can bring makes us glad when the rain slows down or stops. When I lost my daughter, I was walking at a local park. The rain hit me with such force that I didn’t care. I wept for the child that I would never get to hold, for what could have been, the love that I was feeling for someone else and the love that was dying inside me all intertwined. I couldn’t stop the roller coaster and I didn’t want to deal with the reality of what I was facing. The rain came down so hard that my clothes were drenched and I was oblivious.

In a strange way, I hate being inside when it rains. That is unless it’s freezing rain which is a completely different issue altogether. When it’s really cold outside, I don’t recommend getting drenched because of the easier ways to get pneumonia, but when it’s really nice outside, the rain is cathartic to me. Several of my friends will tell you that I am attached to my phone but when it rains, I’m not. There are people that I truly care for right now who are grieving. They may be grieving the loss of a parent or spouse. They may be grieving the loss of a child or a relationship with someone that they may have had a complicated relationship with. It’s raining in their world right now. Rain doesn’t always have to be a physical rain. Sometimes it’s emotional and when that happens, it’s very difficult to see when the sun will come out. At least with physical rain, we can see where the storm bands are but people are different. When it rains on our souls, it isn’t easy to see where the storms started and stopped.

Every person in this world is very different from anyone else. We all deal with our emotions differently. Many of us hold in those emotions until a storm comes to the surface in our lives. We don’t usually go out and face the rain head on unless we are in the mood to deal with the raindrops. It’s often difficult to ascertain the healing elements that the rain brings out in us. What isn’t difficult is that if we allow the rain to wash our outsides, then why wouldn’t we want that rain to wash away the pain? I’m not saying that the rain will heal physical pain. In fact, I highly doubt it will. But the rain within us can pour out emotions that we need to deal with.

The hardest thing outside of losing my marriage, was losing my child. Losing my father was another hard time. I had a good relationship with my dad and I didn’t know how to handle anything when I lost him. In many ways, when I lost my child, I was given new life. I saw the world differently. I understood why parents are so protective of their children. I finally got the fact that children are a light that get us through some of the darkest passages that we face. They have a wisdom and innocence that is difficult to replicate. They fulfill us by raining the warmest drops upon our souls. The rain that they bring us is different. We are given a gift when they are bestowed on us. For those who have never had a child survive or at all, that rain can take the place with a cold, bitter, slam of reality. It can leave whip marks on the soul. Yet, if we let it, the rain on our souls can help wash away some of the bitterness.

My grandmother used to call tears the rain. I think that it takes a strong person to cry. It takes strength to admit that we aren’t perfect. And it takes strength to let others see us when we’re weak. Because that’s when we know that tears of rain aren’t always of sorrow but of joy. Eventually, we all have better days. We can all know that we aren’t alone. There are people in this world who want to be a part of our lives. There are also people that we want to have in our lives who don’t reciprocate those feelings. It’s okay to be angry, hurt, confused, frustrated, and full of questions. But allow yourself to deal with the tears of rain and start healing. You will only grow with growing pains and tears. Although at the end of the day, the tears of rain will help you start to move on. Embrace the rain. Live your life with love and hope. Don’t be afraid of getting hurt. It’s going to happen anyway. Life can really suck sometimes. It can also have some of the best rain we’ll ever experience.

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