Keeper of the Rainbow

We are all keepers of our own rainbows.

What does it mean to be a keeper of the rainbow? How can it shine it’s light on you with the lights are multi colored? I had an ex-fiancé who wrote a song called Keeper of the Rainbow. It’s one of the few songs that I remember verbatim to this day. The lyrics are as follows.

Verse 1: I looked into your eyes and I saw a rainbow shine. Shining with the gleam of light that first caught my eye. You don’t know what you’ve done. You’ve set my world on fire. You hold the keys to my success and the keys to my desire. Chorus: Keeper of the rainbow. Shine your light on me. Keeper of the rainbow never set me free. Of your love. Of your love. Shine. shine.

Verse 2: Tragedy is a mystery. Love is not a game. Flying through the night you know we can ‘t escape. The colors of the rainbow. So bright and so free. Hold onto me baby. Cause tonight’s an epiphany. Chorus. Keeper of the rainbow, shine your light on me. Keeper of the rainbow, never set me free. Of your love. Of your luvvveee. Shine your light now, shine shine so bright.

Verse 3: The thunder closes in. This beast is riding through. The danger lives among us and tonight’s nothing new. Come closer to me baby. Let me hold you near. The devils chasing us again but tonight he’ll lose the duel. Chorus. Keeper of the rainbow. Shine your light on me. Keeper of the rainbow never set me free. Of your love. Of your love. Don’t let your light die. Keep shining so bright tonight. Repeat chorus.

His name was Vance Moore and he was a chameleon. He died a few years ago but his songs are often in my head. Part of the thing that was interesting about him was that the man could make a guitar rock whether it was heavy metal or the blues. He loved music and it flowed freely within him. I think when we’re young, we have a tendency to think with our bodies and not with our heads. This was true in our case. We knew each other intimately and yet we were strangers. There was nothing physically we didn’t know about one another. In fact, it was difficult to keep our hands to ourselves. We thought it was love at the time but it was pure lust. Years later, we reconnected and he asked me what went wrong. He had a large cocaine addiction and couldn’t free himself from it. In truth, we failed because the relationship wasn’t built on anything solid. It was built on lies, deception, lust, and infatuation. Not many relationships work when all those things are intertwined.

No matter what storms you have to weather in your lives, there will always be various rays of light to help you.

Vance taught me many things. He taught me that life is worth taking chances on even when you don’t want to. Somewhere along the way, I forgot those lessons. Thankfully, I’ve learned that physicality only helps part of a relationship and while it’s a very important part, it isn’t everything. Loving someone so much that you put your needs ahead of theirs is an integral part of a healthy relationship. Lifting one another up with trying times is also another key component. True partnerships are not always equal but they are true to each other.

When I think of the lyrics to this song, I think of someone who is keeping the light on for someone who has difficulty seeing beyond their surrounding aura’s. I think of people who make a difference. The leaders and the followers who incite change in our society. I also think of the possibilities of dreams and the effects of those who ignite our passions whether they are sexually, socially, or interpersonally. Taking chances and risks are part of our life. If we aren’t willing to take a chance on each other, then we gain nothing. Granted, some might argue we don’t lose anything but is that really true? Don’t we lose a part of ourselves? To not try because we are scared or fearful is just as damning as losing our soul. We are our own roadblock. We see the signs and yet many times are afraid to follow where the signs lead.

To the folks I’ve wronged in the past, I’m truly sorry. I never meant to hurt anyone maliciously. I will never get apologies from those who wronged me but I don’t have to allow their actions to dictate my happiness. We don’t get a do-over in life. There are people in my life who almost destroyed me, and for a long time, I really hated them. I no longer do. I don’t feel anything. I gave my anger to God and through a lot of time, writing, healing and personal observations, I have begun to recognize the damage it did to me. Not them. I have no right to judge anyone for their behavior. Nor does anyone have the right to judge me for mine. The truth is that people take it upon themselves to judge others for things they do wrong. What good does it really do? Does it make people feel better to judge someone because they think it makes them look good? Usually it doesn’t.

The music in these lyrics will resonate with me until I die. When you first fall in love with someone, their eyes shine and sparkle. True love will keep that light ignited. It’s not a romantic love, but an unconditional love, much like the pets have for us. Sadie, my cat, loves me unconditionally and I am so grateful that she is able to absorb the love that I share with her. She’s been there through tears and laughter. While this song doesn’t mean a literal interpretation, it does mean that we are filled with various colors of light in our lives. Our actions give us many different types of recognition and we are very blessed to find our light within us. There are days that my inner lights are blue. Those are the days where my emotions are a train wreck. The days of red and orange to me represent my angry and frustrated days. Every color of the rainbow is represented in our lives. My point in all this is that we all have things that matter to us. Most folks have people in their lives they truly care for. Each person or thing that we encounter brings different rays of light into our lives. They are our rainbows. They are what we keep closest to us. It doesn’t matter what the lyrics or songs that we love tell us. The music is just a vessel that transcends our souls into our ever evolving emotions.

The man I have loved for over a decade has shut so many people out, including me. I will never understand why he’s doing this but I have had to learn to accept that it’s his loss, not mine. At first, my heart was so full of love and life and over time, that rainbow of light got dimmer and dimmer. Now, it’s colors are brightening again. This time, I’ve learned how to polish my light and keep it shining. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have bad days but it means that I’m not willing to let anyone turn my light off. Every one of you are part of a rainbow. It doesn’t matter what sexual orientation you are, it doesn’t matter what color you are, it doesn’t even matter about what age you are, the fact is that we all bring light to those around us. Some produce more positive light than others but every person on this earth matters. Life matters. Don’t let others keep you from shining bright. Keep your colors full of the rainbow and never stop believing that you are able to help change the world for the better.

Always remember the skies will clear after the storms and so does life problems. They can be really bad but eventually things settle down.

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