You know what I think about jealousy? I think that jealousy is one of those emotions in life that can have a double edged sword. Without jealousy, sometimes we wouldn’t have the nudge needed in order to make our lives a little better. But what happens when the jealousy makes you a victim and really confines your spirit? I’ll tell you what happens to a lot of folks. They feel like they aren’t worthy. There’s several folks out there that when they are victims of jealousy and bullying, they fight back. But when you are among those who have been continuously attacked, you wonder when the victimizing will stop.
This is where you have to shine. Forget about what someone else is doing. Forget how and who are trying to make your life a living hell. Don’t give them that power. I’m going to let all of you in on a little secret. Jealousy stems from one major thing. Perception. If someone else perceives that you have what they want, they will do everything in their power to either take it from you, make you look like an idiot, or ruin your reputation.
In the past, I’ve been bullied a lot. I was smart, funny, semi attractive and not what the guys wanted to date. That didn’t happen much until college. That’s a whole other story. When it came to talent, I had a lot of musical gifts. I thought about studying professionally until I learned just how much would be needed to sacrifice. My heart wasn’t in it. In high school, there was one girl who played the same instrument that I did and she and I competed all the time. I didn’t understand until much later that not only did she not like me, she hated me for my talent. All I wanted was a friend. I admired her. She had everything together. She had the music prowess, the grades, the friends, and the opportunities. I spent more time comparing myself than allowing myself to shine.
In college, my world changed. I learned that I had a voice. I started dating a lot but I didn’t want to go Greek. Many of the students I went to school with were pledging to fraternities and sororities and if you didn’t pledge, you were nothing and nobody. Society places a lot of emphasis on status in this world. I place more of an emphasis on how we treat one another because in the grand scheme of things, it won’t matter what or who we pledge to when we pass. What matters is what we did with our time, how we help folks, and how we treated them. I know quite a few folks who were in fraternities and sororities. Some of them are really good people. Others are so stuck up that they make carrot sticks look soft. No amount of spa treatments will take the tension out of their bodies because their hearts are made of stone and money. I think in many ways they are akin to Ebeneezer Scrooge before the ghostly visits.
REMEMBER YOUR PAST TO HELP YOU FIX YOUR FUTURE
The high school I attended was a private prep school. My parents sent me there on my college money. I worked my way through Burger King to get a scholarship. I rarely go back for their reunions. I don’t like being looked down upon because I’m not earning a six figure salary. I can truly hold my head up because I’m working a legitimate job. It doesn’t pay much but I love the people I work with. My life may not be a wealthy one by monetary standards but it’s full and rich because of the people I surround myself with. I don’t wish I could change anything because I know at the end of the day, it isn’t what we have that makes us rich. It’s more of who we are inside and who we surround ourselves with. Those with love are going to be the wealthiest people in the world. Without love, nothing has meaning.
Many of the volunteer opportunities I have worked with are prime examples of this. They love people. To them it isn’t about the status they are at in life. It’s about connecting with one another. Uplifting them to be the best person they can be. There is a joy that comes from helping others. I think our jobs sometimes make us so competitive with one another that in the clawing our way to get ahead, we forget about the most important things in life. Business may be business but it doesn’t have to be all about just money. You can make a great living and not lose your soul if you don’t allow greed and jealousy to take over every thing that you do.
AVOID TAKING THINGS PERSONALLY
Why do I say this? Because jealousy can rear its ugly head when others don’t know how to get control of a situation. I’ve found over the years that the more jealous some one is of you, the more they will do anything to make your life a living hell. What you have to remember is how they treat you is their problem. Not yours. You don’t have to let them control you. You are responsible for yourself. How you carry yourself, how you handle yourself and what you feel about yourself come from within. No one has the right to make you feel less than you are.
DON’T FEED INTO THEIR NEGATIVITY
If they want to be negative, that’s on them. Keep yourself surrounded with positive people who will support you. You don’t have to be a doormat. Stand up for yourself and find ways to step away from the drama. You can try to approach the person and see if you can find a happy medium but if that doesn’t work, don’t let them take you down to their level.
The main thing I want all of you to take with you is this. Don’t let anyone make you feel inferior. Be yourself. If others don’t like you, that’s their problem. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than you are. Above everything else, be good to one another. The person who is exhibiting jealousy could be going through a very rough time in their life. Be nice. There’s nothing someone who’s vile can’t stand is when someone is nice. We all have folks in our lives that cause us to wonder if we are making the right choices. As long as we are true to our hearts, even mistakes can be really positive learning tools.
Keep focused and let others hate. This is your time to shine. Shine as bright as the stars because that’s what you all are. You don’t have to be famous. All you have to be is you.